Looking Back

Do you ever have flash backs or regrets on how you handled a situation and wish you could have a do-over? I am always having these thoughts, like I am such an idiot why did I ever say that? I have always been painfully shy and self conscience, especially growing up. I think I am finally getting over it, maybe it's because I am comfortable where I am at and who my friends are. I don't really know I guess I will find out when we move next year and I am faced with finding more friends and a new church and entering new groups of people where I don't know a soul.



I saw someone at a store today that I knew from college, they didn't see me and I didn't make myself known. Kind of because we were never really close friends, hardly talked really, even though we saw quite a bit of each other. There are quite a few people like that from college and even HS. People that I knew and I worked closely with them in one way or another yet we hardly talked. I was too shy to start a conversation and never wanted to make a fool of myself so I wouldn't make effort to jump into the conversation. I always thought maybe they were stuck up or snotty since they wouldn't include me. But thinking back on it now, maybe they thought I was the one that was stuck up and snotty, after all I was the one who wouldn't talk, or get involved in group conversations. And just maybe I was the one the that was snotty, too concerned with what other people thought of me to reach out and start a conversation of my own. And because of it I am left with awkward run-ins with people I should know better than I do. Do I say hi or should I pretend I don't know them. I wish I could go back and be a friendlier version of myself. Great thing God lets us have do overs when we don't deserve them at all.